October: Day 9: Saints Andronikos and Athanasia

October: Day 9:
Saints Andronikos and Athanasia
 
(Do Not Complain to God When You Lose Those Close To Your Heart)

By Archpriest Grigory Dyachenko

I. During the reign of Theodosius, there lived in Antioch a goldsmith named Andronikos. His wife was called Athanasia. Their memory is celebrated today. Both spouses led a pious life, dividing all their income into three parts. One part they distributed to the poor, another they used to decorate the church, and the third for their own maintenance. For their gentle and affectionate behavior, all the citizens loved and honored them. They had two young children: a twelve-year-old son John and a ten-year-old daughter Maria. Andronikos and Athanasia rejoiced and praised God for the happiness bestowed upon them. But one day Athanasia, returning from church, found her children sick and groaning. Soon her husband returned, but he no longer found the children alive. The loss of her children greatly saddened Athanasia, she did not leave them and cried all the time. When the children were buried, she did not want to return to the house and remained in the cemetery; she wept and asked God for death. At midnight the martyr Julian appeared to her and said: “Why do you disturb those who rest here with your weeping for your children? It would be better if you wept for your sins. Your children enjoy heavenly blessings; they say to the righteous Judge: 'You have deprived us of earthly blessings, do not take away from us the heavenly ones.'” Hearing this, Athanasia stopped grieving and soon entered a monastery. Andronikos followed her example.

II. It is a sin, brethren, to give ourselves up to inconsolable grief over the loss of those dear to us. We are strangers on earth, therefore we should not grieve when it pleases the Lord to call someone from our midst to His eternal kingdom. The stranger always rejoices when the end of his journey approaches and he enters his father's house; but the doors of our Father's house are opened to us only by our death. But let us turn rather to the universal teacher Saint John Chrysostom and listen to how he thunders against those who lament excessively over the loss of those dear to their hearts. Here are the arguments by which he persuades us to bear without complaint the loss of those dear to our hearts.

a) "Do not mourn for those who depart from us, except for those who depart without repentance," he teaches. "The farmer does not weep when he sees that the wheat he has sown is destroyed, but he is in pain and trembles when it remains firm in the ground. On the contrary, when he sees that it is destroyed, he rejoices, because its destruction is the beginning of future growth. So we too should rejoice (at least not indulge in immoderate lamentation) at the destruction of the corruptible body, when it is sown in the ground. Do not be surprised that the Apostle called burial sowing. This is the best sowing. After ordinary sowing follow cares, labors and dangers, and after this, if only we live righteously, follow crowns and rewards. After the first, death and decay will follow again, but after this will begin for us incorruptibility, immortality and endless blessedness. He who is resurrected never dies again; he returns to a life not of great difficulty and pain, but to one where there is no illness, no sorrow, no sighing."

b) “If you mourn your husband,” continues the same Saint, “because you are left without protection and patronage, then resort to the common Protector and Patron for all, the all-good God – to invincible protection, under constant shelter, always and everywhere taking care of us.”

c) “Have you lost a son or son-in-law?” asks the same golden-tongued teacher of the Church. “We have not lost them; and do not say, ‘We have lost them.’ This is sleep, not death; migration, not loss; a transition from worse to better. If you bear this magnanimously, then there will be some consolation both for the deceased and for you; but if you act otherwise, then you will only arouse the wrath of God against yourselves. Say like Job: ‘The Lord gave, the Lord took away’ (1:21). Consider how many of those who please God more than you have never had children, and are not called fathers.”

d) This great Saint removes all other objections of the murmuring and complaining heart in this way:

1) “You will say that the friendly treatment of the dead was so desirable to me, so pleasant, that I cannot now help but lament it. And I know this; however, if you submit to prudence and reflect on Him who took him, and on the fact that you, generously enduring your orphanhood, offer your mind as a sacrifice to God: then you will be able to overcome your grief; and for the uncomplaining endurance of the grief that has befallen you, you will receive from God a most brilliant crown. But if you grieve beyond measure: then your grief will certainly pass in time, but will not bring you any benefit. With these thoughts, collect more examples that are so often encountered in life; bring to mind those that are presented in divine Scripture. Consider that Abraham himself sacrificed (if not by deed, then by intention) his only son, but did not weep and did not utter a single blasphemous word. But we are called to even greater exploits. Job, of course, grieved, but as much as it was proper for a father to grieve who loves his children and cares for the children departing from him. And what are we doing now? Is this not characteristic only of enemies? If you were to weep and mourn for the one who was brought into the royal chambers and crowned, then I would not call you his friend, but an open enemy."

2) “You grieve because your husband died a sinner,” Saint John Chrysostom cites another objection of widows and refutes it thus: “If you therefore mourn the dead, then you should have tried to correct him during his life. But if he died a sinner, then in this case too one should rejoice, and not grieve, because his days have ceased, and with them his sins; that he did not increase his iniquities, and, as far as possible, help him not with tears, but with prayers, petitions, alms and donations. All this is not arranged without a purpose, and it is not in vain that we perform the remembrance of the dead during the celebration of the divine mysteries, we partake of communion for them, we implore the Lamb lying before us, who took upon Himself the sins of the world; all this is done in order to help them and intercede for forgiveness. Why then do you grieve? Why are you crying when you can obtain forgiveness and pardon for the deceased?”

3) “Do you weep because, having become a widow, you have lost your comforter? Do not say this,” the golden-tongued Saint consoles the widow. “You have not lost God; and as long as He is with you (and He will be with you as long as you are with Him), He Himself will be better for you than husband, and father, and son, and son-in-law, and everyone you may have. God did everything for you even when you had a spouse. But now in Him you have more than anyone else, a Comforter, a Father of the orphans left with you, and a Judge of widows (Psalm 67:6). Seek His help, and you will know that He now cares more about you and your children than before, and all the more so, the greater the difficulty you find yourself in. It is not in vain that the Apostle blesses widowhood when he says: 'She who is a widow and alone trusts in God indeed' (1 Tim. 5:5), and the higher and more honorable she will appear, the more patience she shows. So, do not weep over what may crown you. Sooner or later you will see the deceased, and the more joyful your meeting will be, the sadder the separation. And where will you see each other? There, where there will never be separation.”

4) “It would be better not to experience joy and pleasure, than, having experienced it, to be crushed later by grief and sorrow. This is often said by parents and spouses who have lost near and dear ones. No, I beg you,” the same Saint instructs, “do not say this either, do not insult the Lord with such words. It is better to thank Him for what you have received, and bless Him for what you have lost. Job did not say: it would be better for me not to have children; but he thanked God for what he received: 'The Lord gave,' and blessed Him for what he lost; 'the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord forever.' You should do the same, and always imagine that it was not man who took your son or son-in-law from you, but God, Who created him and cares for him more than you; knows better than you what is good for him and what is bad for him, not his enemy, or any ill-wisher. In the same way, let a husband judge a good wife and a housewife; so let relatives judge relatives, each other about their friend, household members about their householder, and so on. If we all philosophize in this way, then here too we will find peace of mind and achieve future blessings" (From the 41st Homily on the 1st Epistle to the Corinthians).

III. May these wise instructions of the great father and universal teacher of the Church, Saint John Chrysostom, shed at least some ray of consolation into the sorrowful hearts of Christians, who in their faintheartedness and foolishness are ready to grumble at God's Providence over the loss of children, parents, and other relatives who are dear to their hearts.

Source: A Complete Annual Cycle of Short Teachings, Composed for Each Day of the Year. Translated by John Sanidopoulos.