By Fr. George Dorbarakis
"Melting from the sickness of sins, I lie down on the bed of despair; on my behalf, Physician of the sick, visit me because of Your philanthropy, and do not allow me to be awakened in a terrible, pitiful death, so that I may cry out to you fervently: O Giver of mercy, Lord, glory to You” (Matins, Kathisma, Plagal of the 4th Tone).
What is the observation of the holy hymnographer, who records the state of his own being, but also of all Christians to his knowledge? That he does not simply commit sins as a sinner, but melts from them, because he has the knowledge that it is an illness. This is the tragedy of the believer: he understands that sin is the worst thing that can happen in his life, the very illness and trauma of his soul and body, but despite all this he continues to sin due to weakness. It reminds us of the cry of the Apostle Paul in the Epistle to the Romans (chap. 7), who “radiographs” his mental state by confessing his “suffering” and how unhappy he is! “O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” And this is because “to will to do good is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find… For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man, but I see another law... bringing me into captivity to the law of sin.” That is why the hymnographer reaches the point, which is truly terrifying, of saying: “I lie down on the bed of despair!” Despair, however, regarding himself and his own powers.
But he is faithful and has confidence in the power of the Lord and in His infinite mercy. He turns to Him with faith, testifying of his weakness and illness. And he begs Him to visit him and give him His grace, while he is in this life, because he knows that repentance, which is the medicine for every sin, no matter how great and varied it may be, is for as long as we live in this world. “In Hades there is no repentance” (St. John of Damascus). Therefore he says, “Do not allow me to be awakened in a terrible, pitiful death," that is, to be asleep and listless while this life lasts, and to wake up when the hour of death comes, for then it will be too late. The visitation of the Lord will have two characteristics, according to the poet: first, it will reveal God's love within his own sinful heart; second, it will lead him to glorify God's holy name.
We see the entire reasoning of the troparion in all the lives of our saints, we see it in practice in the great Holy Elders of our time. Like the instance with Saint Sophrony of Essex, the Athonite, who in the case of a long-suffering and desperate man, took him by the hand, led him before the icon of the Lord Jesus Christ and said to him with great faith and love: "Well, for your specific situation, the only thing we can do is to deposit it here."
Source: Translated by John Sanidopoulos.
